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Here it is, the beginning of the second week in 2005, and I am actually sticking to a couple of resolutions I have made. I can’t believe it and wonder if I’m experiencing some sort of last minute life changes. I hope it’s true that “…it’s never too late.”
The first one makes me feel a bit better about myself even though I’m not sure how well it has worked. I firmly resolved to mend some fences that I broke years ago, and to my undying shame, have never attempted to fix.
It isn’t easy to make a phone call where you’ll have to spend all your time apologizing for something you might not forgive if you were in the other person’s shoes.
There’s no sense in your feeling good because you finally fell on knees and pleaded to be forgiven. I speak figuratively, of course, because if I were to go down on bended knees it would take a hydraulic lift to get me up again, which probably serves me right.
If you do this sort of thing just to make yourself feel better, then forget deserving any absolution. If you’ve reached an accord and the other person feels better, you’ve accomplished something. I’m not sure yet how things will turn out. The only good feeling I deserve is the satisfaction of having done what I resolved to do.
The next resolution involved the telephone. There are people to whom I owe a personal call. I have tried to manage at least one call a year, usually during the holidays, but I’m shocked when I sit down and list calls I should make to realize that more than a year has gone by. There’s no excuse really, since I have an excellent long distance call program and the cost is no longer prohibitive. Last night, for example, I called a favorite niece with whom I haven’t spoken in two years. We talked for four hours and it cost me less than a small gift mailed to her home. She’s an amazing person who lives alone with seven cats and supports herself by doing carpentry, gardening, and house cleaning. She’s not young and has arthritis, but has great spirit. She was pleased because she just finished one of two outdoor projects before winter becomes serious, (she lives where there is plenty of snow). One job was building a boat deck, the other a stone wall. She also writes poetry. It is awe inspiring to talk with her and I have resolved to do this on a much more regular basis.
There are three or four more calls on my list. These are also long distance; friends from other farther away places, including a small village in the French Alps.
I’ve lost contact with many people from all over the world. These were not casual acquaintances and it’s my fault we are no longer connected. This is what comes from living life at too fast a pace and moving too often.
I suppose it’s a little late to resolve to slow down and finally stop moving around. This latest move will be my last. I am resolved. I know this is a good one because I feel good about my home. Houses, as such, have never been of any real importance to me, and decorating always a hit and miss affair. This time, being unable to be a full time participant, everything was left to other people, all of whom do not share my peculiar feelings. As a result, my home looks and feels good. I like what I see when I look around.
As usual, I have resolved to change my eating habits. This is the hardest road to hoe. I’ve been gradually reducing my intake and making some changes. Unfortunately, I am restricted in my diet and a lot of stuff I love that’s also good for me, I can’t have. No lettuce, celery, or other good calorie free salad ingredients. Tomatoes have to have seeds and skin removed. Fruits, the few I’m allowed, must be cooked. Lately, I’ve been craving a crisp apple but I know better than to cheat. Sadly, one of the few vegetables I can have is a potato, and I do love potatoes. Not too good if you’re trying to thin down a little.
I guess if I can stick to at least two resolutions, my life report card won’t be too bad. If I could just rehab myself and stop being a potato junkie, I might even get a “C”.
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