| There are times when I do something so stupid that I can't even believe that I did it. When this happens I am so astounded by my own idiocy that I actually amaze myself.
The other day I had to cut out a sewing pattern, a task that I absolutely despise doing when I do it right so you can imagine how much I hate it when I do it wrong. I cut out the entire stupid pattern only to discover that I had cut it upside down so that the pattern of the material was all pointing the wrong way. If someone actually wore this garment people would have to stand on their heads to see the pattern on the fabric. There is no fixing a mistake like this. I'm pretty good at finding ways to fix small mistakes but even MacGyver couldn't make this work no matter how much Duct Tape and wire he had. It is unfixable. This kind of human error makes me crazy, mostly because it is caused by a lack of focus and inattention to detail on my part. Also because I did it once before years ago and you would think that I would have learned enough to not make the same mistake twice. Not me, I went right ahead and did it again just to prove I could.
Part of my problem may be that I generally have too many projects going at once and I probably get a little tired and scatter-brained because of it. Obviously, my multi-tasking toolbox is short a few screw drivers or something because when I have a lot of projects going at one time I tend to lose focus and make mistakes. This is my own fault, of course, because I am always making alterations to the original idea or design or changing directions when some plan doesn't work out or fails utterly. Half the time I can't even stick to a pattern or design because I decide that there is a better way to do it or it can be improved through minor or major changes. I like to make things really unique so I have a tendency to occasionally shoot myself in my own foot trying to get all creative and original. Obviously, my ambitions sometimes outreach my abilities.
I have found that if you are a little bit clever at something your friends and family tend to a powerful desire to take advantage of that cleverness or skill at will. There is nothing wrong with that in theory; I think that we should all be ready and willing to share our abilities with those about whom we care. The problem is, that when people you care about want you to do something for you it is almost impossible to say no. At least, it is for me. Because of that I often end up with so many irons in the fire that the flames become totally smothered and I've got nothing left to burn. It all started when my brothers decided that I should cut their hair. This was back in the day when guys had plenty of hair and traditional barbers had no idea how to cut it any style but really short. So I went to the library, studied the basics, and became their personal hair stylist. That would have been fine except that pretty soon I was cutting their hair, all their friends' hair, and ultimately, all their girlfriends' hair. Needless to say, no one was paying me for this service.
After hair cutting I became everyone's seamstress. I hardly ever was able to sew for myself because I was sewing for everyone else. I repaired seams, replaced broken zippers, altered clothing, and numerous other tasks. Pretty soon I was making prom gowns and designing costumes. Along with needlework I became the go-to person for all sorts of projects requiring nice handwriting or artistic ability. I did report covers, science project boards, posters, and numerous other similar endeavors. After I taught myself how to crochet and knit I spend endless hours making people hats, scarves, socks, and sweaters. When I learned to type and could do it pretty fast I was typing everyone's book reports. I didn't mind doing any of it, but it can become pretty exhausting. Not to mention the fact that you end up with no time to do anything for yourself.
Right now I am working an infinity scarf and knit slipper boots for my daughter, 4 scrub tops for my friend, snow gaiters for my daughter and her fiancé, a baby blanket for a friend's grandson, slippers for my son, an outfit for a stuffed animal, a dress for my daughter's boyfriend's sister's baby, another infinity scarf for another friend, and a project that will organize all my thread while looking simultaneously artistic on a wall, and last and definitely least, an idea for a painting I want to do. This is along with all the other things I have to do because I am a single mother and do everything anyway. I'm exhausted just writing about it. Now that I have listed all the things I am trying to accomplish at once I think I can reasonably forgive myself for cutting out the sewing pattern upside down. Maybe I will always remember doing it from now on and never do it again. On the other hand, maybe, like the pattern, I am unfixable. Only time will tell.