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I am sure that at some point in the recent past I was complaining that my office was cold. Well, today it is too darned hot. It's like a steam bath in here. I am the only resident in this apartment complex who hasn’t an air conditioner. I have adequate fans but the one in here is, like so many other things in the place on the fritz.
The plumber who came on Monday reassured me that I was not responsible for the busted flush.
"How old is this apartment?" he asked. I told him I had no idea but while I knew it wasn't as old as I, it wasn't very young.
He assured me that some vital parts had simply rotted away with age. I told him I knew the feeling. He cheerfully replaced all sorts of flanges and other parts. I asked him if plumbing were still a fairly lucrative profession and he said yes, but not so much in this area since there were so many do-it-yourselfers.
I can certainly relate to that having been married to one who could fix or build everything and, in his workshop had all the necessary tools. I remember one time when the resident toddler had tossed his child's sized military hairbrush and flushed it down the drain.
My husband worked hard for the longest time to no avail. The darned thing was wedged somewhere. Finally, he removed the bowl and took it outside into the yard with all of us following including cats and dogs.
He put the flush upside down then proceeded to shake, rattle and roll it until, at last. The lost object fell to the ground. There was much cheering and applause for superfather. We all marched back into the house to watch him put things back in place.
I no sooner breathed a huge sigh of relief after the plumber left when yet another huge problem reared its head. I swear I'm getting paranoid and with good reason.
I started having terrible interference on my phone. I don't mean mild static, I mean shrieking and screeching noises like metal being torn apart. Sometimes the line went dead, sometimes the other person could hear me but I couldn’t hear them.
This went on for about a week. At one point I called my neighbor upstairs to see of they were having trouble and the phone went crazy making noises I can't even describe. He came downstairs to tell me they had some problems too.
I called the phone company and after using four menus finally found the right person who said someone would be out the next day.
My neighbor had told me that the phone box in the basement was a "mess". I didn't know what he was talking about, not having been in the basement for years, but I passed the information along when the phone man came.
I also told him of the things that had happened the day and night before. Chuck had been talking to his brother in Florida when a conversation between two ladies popped up. They couldn’t hear Chuck but he could hear them. He hung up and called again later, much later, at 3 AM the phone rang. You know how heart stopping this can be. Your first thought is family emergency. When I picked up the phone I heard a man's voice speaking German.
I know three words in German and the slang expression for "What's happening." I shouted that three or four times but he didn't hear me just kept taking in German. I was pretty shaken up.
The man went down stairs to look at the phone box. He came up with the plumber's question. "How old is this place?" I think, for future reference, I should find out.
Anyway, the phone setup was worse than the flush. Everything apparently was broken. Wires were twisted or falling out of place. Once more I am assured that things are A.O.K. What's next.
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